Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
