I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
