i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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