Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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