I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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