we're blogging at a bar
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
