if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
