whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
