You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
