there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Sorry about my life...
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
