Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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