people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
