The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
