do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I pour the whiskey from now on
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
