Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
