the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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