Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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