that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
It's never too late to be topless.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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