1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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