remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
