5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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