i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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