the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
