i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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