What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
