Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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