We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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