so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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