I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
