; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
ugly people sure do ruin things
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
