I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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