mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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