Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
