ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
