Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
The Olympian is in my bed
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
