They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
