I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
