I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
