dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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