i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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