what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
