therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
