i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
