just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize