I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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