I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
These tits shall not be calmed
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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