I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
