Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
