i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize