he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
