His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
