Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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