his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
