as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
We had to coat check the pizza.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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