I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize