take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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