I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Buhtt sex?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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