My room smells like vodka and shame
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
