wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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